It really suck when you have to see your loved ones suffering, getting hurt and you can’t do shit about it. All you could do is just try to be there, be who you are. Yet you ask yourself how can you smile and ask them to cheer up when you can feel the pain of your loved ones.

I really don’t know what I can do. & I wish I know what I can do so that I can protect everyone I love. I really don’t have the right choice of words, and I cannot say it out or type whatever is inside me out. If you knew what’s inside, it might just have killed you or me. But see, I’m trying, trying my hardest everyday. Sometimes, I feel not good enough. Sometimes, I am not good enough. Yet I don’t know how to be good enough. I don’t know, how to be. Really. And it sucks, cause all I want is to do my best, yet it always feel like it’s not enough.

The same mouth, I used to tell people to cheer up, can’t seem to cheer myself up. That mouth, that I speak positive things to others, can’t seem to speak positive things to myself. This mouth, I used to lift people up, seems like it’s bringing me down instead.

But regardless of what, I am still placing my all in You. You take the wheel, Lord. My life is driven by You and solely You. I don’t know, but I know Your timing is perfect. I know, You will never fail. I know, You will lift those who believe You high and above others. I know, Your love covers all. I know, Your grace is sufficient. I know, when I’m weak, You are strong. I know, blessed are those whose Lord is God. I know, the joy of the Lord is my strength. and I know, I can do all things, through You who strengthens me.

I know. I just need to be still, and know that You are God.